Let’s be more willing to sit down with someone. Seriously, a real therapist. Our friends and our moms are great, but there are things we need to look at honestly. Things we need to address that even the most well meaning of friends can’t help us with. There are old stories and images that hang out inside our heads and hearts like chained up animals waiting to be triggered and react with unwelcome consequences. They are likely the result of past experiences that have nothing to do with who we are right now; and our knee jerk reactions to them are not serving us. Our familiarity in that dysfunction will keep us prisoner to decisions that hurt us or keep us from being who we know we really are. Therapy is probably the most difficult step to break from being unconsciously dysfunctional
We partially hide behind the lesser version of ourselves out of fear and the fear is different for all of us. Some of us live in a perpetual state of panic. You can’t see it in our faces, but in every moment we are imagining worst case scenarios and responding to them with either dejected inaction or exhaustive, emotionally charged movement. Sometimes it’s a cycle between the two. Sometimes it’s addictive behavior; shopping, eating, working. We may not even realize we are doing it. I liked to live dangerously and mixed them all up to varying degrees of over-doing-it, without even realizing I was doing it.
That is why we should be open to finding and making friends with a kick-ass therapist. For our sake and for the sake of the ones we love, lest we project our own dysfunction onto them like a cloak, and they repeat or reflect our dysfunctions in their own ways. You think you are putting on a good face, you’re not, especially around the little ones. They know.