I stayed in the tub for far too long letting the water get cold.  Immersing myself completely one last time, moving my head from side to side feeling my hair and body float effortlessly in slow motion.  It was difficult to lift myself out.  I look at the clock, it was 1AM, what am I doing?  I throw something on and slide under the covers, careful not to wake him.  Draping myself over half of his body and laying my arm across his chest, I tuck my fingers behind his neck.  I can feel my heart beating on his chest, quickening in the dark and the silence, I can feel it in my lips and my fingertips.   He doesn’t feel good, I should let him sleep.  He has been trying so hard to take care of me, the house, the kids, work (oh Lord the work).  Not once complaining…I really should let him rest.  I feel his heart beating and listen to his breath slowly change from long to shallow breathes.  Have you ever laid with someone and noticed how the rhythm of your hearts and breaths eventually align?  It always fascinated me.  I pull my face into his neck and slowly breathe in; it’s amazing how the simple sense of smell can affect someone so strongly.  I decided not to let him sleep, I hope he forgives me.